Well, I wake up in the morning
There`s frogs inside my socks
Your mama, she`s a-hidinInside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearinA Napoleon Bonarparte mask
Then you ask why I don`t live here
Honey, do you have to ask ?
Well, I got to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws
I ask who`s in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in
He`s wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don`t live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that ?
Well, I asked for something to eat
I`m hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
I`ve got a hole
Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don`t live here
Honey, I gotta think you`re really weird.
Your grandpa`s cane
It turns into a sword
Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets
Your uncle steals
And you ask me why I don`t live here
Honey, I can`t believe that you`re for real.
Well, there`s fist fight in the kitchen
They`re enough to make me cry
The mailman comes in
Even he`s gotta take a side
Even the butler
He`s got something to prove
Then you ask me why I don`t live here
Honey, how come you don`t move ?
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