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These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slip my mind the last two times
Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she`s having my kid
That`s not all, now I recall more you see, so I`ll give you part three of my confessions
Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do,
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)
That`s a lie, I don`t know what I said that for
I borrowed your chapstick (from you)
I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium,
I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
There have been times when I`ve peed in your sink
Don`t know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive me I`m still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought
Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
My boss thinks I`m a jerk, I didn`t get that raise.
I haven`t changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!
And when I`m kissing you I fantasize you as a midget
I`m so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I`d like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor
FYI it was not a cold sore
Ooops my bad, but you`ll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions
You don`t know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?
O and by the way, I wasn`t really sick last week,
I just didn`t wanna go to your stupid office picnic
Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,
What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn`t say anymore `til I give you part four of my confessions
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